**Author’s note and content warning: This poem is about my daughter’s traumatic birth story. I wrote this for the first writing competition I entered as an adult. I made a few tweaks and edits. I had another post all ready and decided for today. There were just too many red flags telling me not to publish that today. Soon, but not today.
Tap the screen
Enter the passcode
Select the app
Lock into creation mode
Add the tunes
One at a time
Careful selections
For a feeling most sublime
A little Etta
Two from Dolly
A dash of Bob Dylan
All choices, folly
A few songs for Daddy
Gave eyes tear collections
Which songs from Springsteen?
The easiest selections
One day, finally
The list was complete
Each one a great choice
For the moment we’d meet
You took your time coming
waiting an extra week and day
Doc said, “Time to induce,
We’ll meet her today.”
We got to our room
Everything so easy
Desperate to meet you
Our sweet baby Gigi
Playing our songs
To connect to one moment
We missed complications
In our happiness quotient
“You’ll have time,” said the nurse
Daddy busy with to dos
He wasn’t there with us
When they stopped hearing you
A moment or two
Felt like an eternity
I’ve never been more afraid
Overcome with uncertainty
Straight to the OR
A flurry of urgency
You would be born
In a medical emergency
As the doctors put me under
I tried to keep calm
I prayed so hard for you
Our fates in His palm
So very much happened
While I slept on the table
Doctors and nurses worked hard
And did all they were able
When I awoke
All faces concerned
Of the hell we went through
All the details I learned
I longed to meet you
And snuggle just us two
But you needed an ambulance
To a special NICU
You were unresponsive
Hanging onto life, you’d manage
They’d keep you hypothermic
To prevent any brain damage
Daddy went with you
Following mama’s orders
I sat alone in my room
Reaching out to supporters
After sharing reports
That you had arrived
I sat in the quiet empty room
So sad I couldn’t even have cried
After hours of silence
And waiting to see you on screen
I remembered your playlist
We didn’t get to stream
I pulled out my phone
And played song after song
I found hope and you in my heart
Right where they belong
Your first night on earth
Was purgatory for mama
But the next steps of your life
Would have far less drama
When I was released
Daddy brought me to you
And I played for you the songs
That had gotten me though
Bette Midler soothed us with
Her Baby Mine
Brandi Carlile’s The Mother:
Simply divine
And a list for you
Would never be complete
Without songs about rainbows;
Kermit the Frog on repeat
You healed like a marvel
A true gift from God
So many thinking of you
Our hero prayer squad
You improved so fast
You stayed less than five days
Doctors said you were a miracle
In so many ways
Now we have two
You gained a baby sister
Each day you wake
You just want to kiss her
We listen to songs
From your playlist and her’s
Populating life’s soundtrack
As we pass through the years
These songs fill us up
These notes get us though
They carry us through valleys
And hope to renew
Just because mixed tapes
Look quite different these days
It doesn’t mean they don’t help us
In all the old ways
So to quote Dolly Parton
And finish this noteless song
“Everything’s gonna be alright
That’s been all wrong.”
Sparks 